Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Will exercising make me less horny?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
