yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
