He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
