My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
