hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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