That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you mean i was at the winter classic?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
