I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
