Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
