Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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