That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
