He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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