Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
