so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
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