I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
