I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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