Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
