I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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