I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
