If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
