it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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