Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
