He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
