This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
