there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
