I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
