shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
