ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
