I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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