I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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