New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
