dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
