Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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