Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
