Small penises have feelings too.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
