: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
