Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
