Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
