oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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