we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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