do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
We are two peas in an std pod
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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