The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
