Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
