dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
