haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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