Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
