i barfeds in our rink
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
