you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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