I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
there is puke in my bra ... again
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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