he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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