Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
